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A - Z of Lies
About Your Body
Animals
Classic Lies
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Gumpisms
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What We Tell Kids
White Lies
Your Mother



> When your mother was pregnant with you...

I loved you from the moment I saw you.

I was awake through the whole thing.

Dad was in the room.

Having you didn't hurt much.

Having you was the most wonderful experience of my life.

It didn't hurt when you were born because we put an ax under the bed.

Being pregnant was the most wonderful time in my life.

I gained 70 pounds and lost it all right away.

We wouldn't take a boy. We told the doctor if it was a male child to leave him in the forest to starve.

I loved breast-feeding.

I got varicose veins from you.

Sure your biological mother wanted you. We just wanted you more.

You are our real child.

Sure we could have children of our own, but we decided we wanted one already born.

You never sucked your thumb.

You were addicted to that pacifier.

No one cares whether you breast-feed in public

 

 


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