Home  |  Contact  |  Links  |     |  Email this page to a Friend |



A - Z of Lies
About Your Body
Animals
Classic Lies
Food
Gumpisms
Reassurances
School
Warnings
What We Tell Kids
White Lies
Your Mother



> I wasn't doing what you thought I was...

I wasn't listening in on your phone call; I was trying to call Aunt Mary.

I wasn't littering; I was leaving food for the birds.

I wasn't looking through your drawers; I was putting away the laundry.

I was just trying to stop a nose bleed.

I wasn't waiting up. I was watching a movie.

I wasn't reading your diary; I was looking for my contact lens.

I wasn't spying on you; your diary turned up on my bookshelf.

It tastes better from the carton.

We just remember it differently.

I wasn't looking for dope in your pocketbook; I just wanted an aspirin.

I wasn't looking for your diaphragm; I needed some tissues.

I wasn't sleeping; I was reading.

I didn't forget your birthday. I was planning a surprise later.

As it so happens, I was talking to a lady from the church.

I didn't dodge the draft. We were getting married anyway.

I am listening.

I have no idea what happened to your first-grade artwork.

I was never too shy to call a girl.

I am awake.

I voted when you were at school.

The devil made me do it.

I had a flat tire.

They're my friend's cigarettes.

I had to work late.

Daddy and I were just wrestling in bed when you walked in.

Oh him? He's just a guy who came to read the meter.

I wasn't eating your candy; I was checking to make sure it wasn't spoiled.

She's just a friend.

I wasn't dating her when I was married to your mother.

 

 


© 2000-11 untruths.co.uk - Part of the HumourHub network