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A - Z of Lies
About Your Body
Animals
Classic Lies
Food
Gumpisms
Reassurances
School
Warnings
What We Tell Kids
White Lies
Your Mother



> If you don't behave yourself...

If you don't behave, the pilot will turn the plane around right now.

St. Nick will know.

Your father will deal with this.

You won't go to camp this summer.

You're grounded for life.

No more TV for a week.

I'm cancelling our Christmas trip.

- You'll send me to an early grave.

We'll remember this when it comes time to buy birthday gifts.

I'll throw out all your toys.

Forget about your birthday party.

If you don't stop fighting, I will shoot you both.

Daddy and I will get a divorce because of this.

That's it. I'm pulling over, and you're getting out and walking.

I'll chop your head off.

I'll pull your neck like a chicken.

I'll hit you so hard your shirt will ride up your back like a window shade.

If you don't eat your string beans you won't be able to see Bill. (But I saw him and he wasn't invisible.)

That's enough.

We'll find a new family for you.

We'll take you to the orphanage.

You're worse than Dennis the Menace.

Your kids will do to you what you're doing to me.

I'm going to talk to your teacher.

When you have kids you grow extra eyes; your hair hides them.

There's a spanking machine in the attic if you don't behave.

I'm giving you one last chance.

 

 


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