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A - Z of Lies
About Your Body
Animals
Classic Lies
Food
Gumpisms
Reassurances
School
Warnings
What We Tell Kids
White Lies
Your Mother



> Untruths, lies and white lies about food and eating

What vegetables? That's a salami souffle.

It won't make you fat.

Porkpie? Why it's just like cake.

It's sauerkraut, honey. Try it. You'll like it.

It tastes just like candy.

You didn't touch your broccoli.

If you eat too much candy, your teeth will fall out.

You don't know what you're missing.

No odor penetrates tinfoil.

No one chews with his mouth open.

Everyone loves fruitcake.

No, it's not canned; it's fresh.

I bought it from the store.

These are Hostess cupcakes. It's the same thing.

If you eat the last slice you'll be an old maid.

That's not finger food.

Carrots are good for your eyes.

Brussel sprouts will make you voluptuous.

Too much ice cream makes you burp.

Chocolate makes you fart.

Fish is brain food.

Babies are starving in China because you're not eating your lamb chops.

Liver is good for you.

Cod liver oil is good for you.

Cod liver oil doesn't taste bad.

Beans don't really make you toot.

The heel of a loaf has all the vitamins.

Fish is the food of ghosts.

Spinach is really cooked lettuce.

I cooked all day for you.

I made it the way you like it.

I thought you'd like beets/turnips/parsnips.

I made the cake myself.

I love to cook.

The store didn't have any ice cream.

Protein is the most important food group.

Man was meant to be carnivorous.

Vegetarians are commie leftie hippies.

Mussels are poisonous.

If you swallow the seeds, a watermelon will grow in your stomach.

Only Chinese people drink soup.

They use Coca-Cola to clean drains; have milk instead.

Coke and aspirin are a dangerous combination.

Corn on the cob must be eaten with holders-and in a circular order.

You're supposed to eat the cake first and save the frosting for last.

Ice-cold food is very dangerous.

You'll get sick if you eat traife.

If you cut the bread from both ends, something bad will happen.

If you leave a knife stuck in a loaf of bread, something will stick in you.

If you toast food on a knife, you'll be poor all your life.

Trouble befalls those who don't eat the right food.

It should take you five minutes to clean up.

Nobody eats their boogers.

They're not left-overs; they're 'smores.

 

 


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