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A - Z of Lies
About Your Body
Animals
Classic Lies
Food
Gumpisms
Reassurances
School
Warnings
What We Tell Kids
White Lies
Your Mother



> Complete A - Z guide to lies and lying

EXERCISE

JOGGING IS BAD FOR YOU. (Get the rest of the family to jog instead. It will make them that much quicker when they run for the ambulance.)

I ALWAYS EXERCISE AS I QUITE ENJOY UNBEARABLE CHEST PAIN, INABILITY TO BREATHE AND MY HEAD SLAMMING INTO A CEMENT FLOOR. I DON'T EVEN MIND TURNING BLUE, AS IT BLENDS WELL WITH THE WALLPAPER.

I CANT EXERCISE TODAY AS I'M FLAT OUT. (On my back.)

I'LL START TOMORROW.

I'M FEELING A BIT ILL TODAY. (Because I've eaten too much.)

I DID 12 SIT-UPS THIS MORNING. (Trying to get out of bed.)

SEX IS EQUIVALENT TO A TEN-KILOMETRE RUN. (In your case it's equivalent to ten kilometres by public transport.)

 

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